Be

Be, don't seek.

Sit warmly open,

lightness in your brow, 

not questions.

Be ready for the quiet

when it comes, 

and the creaking

of the house's bones

and the wind's music

playing the notes of the trees.

Be, don't brood,

Don't wait for life

to announce itself

in capitals

or high garb.

Be available to its whispers

know how to listen

when it tells its true self

and not the lies

you've dreamed up.

Be able to breathe

and let go of your breath,

let go of life as you wish it to be

and take in the simplicity,

the facts-

This sky is.

This day is.

This sparrow is.

Be, don't try.

Your weariness must have 

shown you something by now.

Stay seated in your soul,

remember the sun is there,

truth and time are there.

Be, don't seek. 

You've already found.

You already have.

You already know.

You already are.

Elizabeth Page Roberts 2008

We'Moon 2012

I Know the Secret of Balance!

Sensation, the language of the body.

Sensation, the raw output of our sensory system.

Something or someone makes contact and our nervous system goes to work.

What kind of contact was it? Was it contact we were expecting? Was it contact that was desired? Was it spontaneous contact?

Did the hair stand up on the back of my neck? All over my body? Did my pupils dilate? Did I feel suddenly warm? Did I feel an overwhelming urge to run? Did I want to return the contact? Has my heart rate increased? Has my rate of respiration increased?

Did you know that your body processes everything going on around you? Your brain receives stimulation through sensory nerves, optical nerves, auditory nerves, and others associated with the spinal cord. Sense is made of the information and a response is sent out. You differentiate color, sounds and contact in a variety of forms through which your body will act.

You probably are already aware that if you see a wolf running at you growling, your optic nerves have been stimulated, the sound was processed by your auditory system and determined to be "growling". Possibly without much thought, you are also aware of the feeling of fear. You might be shaking and looking for somewhere to hide. 

What you might not have noticed is that your pupils have probably dilated to let in as much light as possible so you can see any escape route available. Digestion has all but come to a stop - your legs need the blood flow to get you the hell away from the damn wolf! Your heart rate is elevated to get blood flow to extremities as efficiently as possible. You have a killer "buzz" going on from adrenaline that has just been pumped into your system via your adrenals. You are kickin' ass and takin' names! When it's done, your ass will be grass and if you haven't wet yourself (in your body's efficient effort to rid you of anything that might hold you back) - you're ready for bed.

Interestingly what is considered a normal "fight or flight" response to a real threat to life and limb, due to our societal definition of success, we often have this response on a what's-more-than-is-healthy basis. Instead of having a wolf growling at us from the hill, there's a couple of files we need to give our attention to, or we're gearing up to prove who is more worthy of a promotion on the office battlefield.  

This digression will be continued in another post!

Sensation is what we're focusing on right now. If we go back and revisit the wolf event, we can extrapolate sensations from the experiential description: 

• you may feel itchy,tingly,trembly 

• you may feel the pounding of your heart in your chest 

• your legs may feel rubbery

• you may feel the surface under your feet as dry, slippery, muddy, smooth, cold or wet 

• your throat might feel scratchy if you're screaming 

• you may feel a sharp "stitch" in your side from running

• your stomach may feel crampy and you may experience nausea

  Your body is talking to you, giving you it's take on the situation. In fact your body may have actually had you running before your brain had taken the time to formulate the word "R U N !"

  We are multifaceted creatures. We are composed of Body, Mind Spirit and Emotions. Some of us consider ourselves to be mostly spirit and not "of this world". Others of us consider the body to be a dirty, and unappealing necessary housing for the the mind. Still others live in such emotion that they are human hurricanes. None of these comprise a balanced human being. 

  At this point in our existence we are on the never-ending quest to "balance" our lives; to find the ever-elusive balance that will make everything fall right into place. That magical balance will give us more hours in the day, or it will empower us to fit more stuff into the measly 24 hours we've been given. It will give us a super power so that we no longer need sleep. Or it will enable our bodies to create good nutrition when we're not eating any.

  The balance that we are pilgrammaging towards is not anything we're going to find outside of ourselves.(Dunno if this a dictionary-worthy word but I like it!)

  I said it in one of my very first posts in a moment of passion and 2 or so years later, I'm back: 

  THE BALANCE IS IN US.

  Nowhere else. All we need is all we have. 

  Body - Mind - Spirit - Emotion

  Every day it's easy to find reminders of what happens when we ignore or shut off a part of ourselves. Yet we encourage, admire and reward those who tortuously bend, twist, distort, knot, gnarl and warp our natural balance in order to fit a mold created by other severely twisted beings. Let me hear you defend it - I know someone out there reading this is thinking that this is the world we live in and if we don't conform than... If I don't work myself into a heart attack, get sleep on a regular basis and put being present to my children above sports then I'll be left out of bitch sessions with people whose bodies are breaking down prematurely, are unhappy with their lives and need everyone around them to be just as miserable as they are. Gee, I'm gonna miss that!

  Not taking care of every part of our selves doesn't make sense; it isn't logical in the scope of the big picture.

  When we give our bodies what they need:

  When we give our minds what they need:

  When we give our spirits what they need:

  When we give our emotions what they need:

  We are:

  More Functional

    More Productive

  More Efficient

  Mentally Agile

  More Useful

  More Loving

  More Lovable

  More Patient

  Kinder to Others

  More Generous

  More Creative

  More Pleasant to Be Around

  (Btw, this list in N O T in order of importance!)

  When your put self-care last (so that you can claim selflessness) you are cheating those you love. You're not giving them the best of you. You are giving them the worn, the beaten down, the exhausted, the impatient, the resentful, the angry and the frustrated. Why else would it be common to hear a parent say something like, "I don't understand how that kid can be so selfish. I gave up everything for him." Guilt is not love. Let's remember whose choice it was first to have a family. Those are not the words of a happy person; of a person who has taken care of themselves and are living the life they dreamed of.

  Why can't we have the lives we dream of? 

Dance Heals

Dance Heals. The Body. The Mind. The Spirit. The Emotions.

Movement invites us to be strong, flexible, agile, stable and mobile, to "blow off steam". 

Dance Heals.

Dance is that private place I go when the music starts. Or with no music at all. Without thought, I'm there. Suddenly the noise in my head is gone and there is little around me that can shake the journey once it starts. Dance gives me access to parts of myself that, in the past, were too complex to expose to day-to-day consciousness. Dance is like a zip file.

If I am willing, Dance lovingly guides me, into hell and out again. 

 

Dance guides me, without judgment but also without coddling, through the fire, through the pleasure and pain and gives me what I need. Whether I realize it at the time or not.

The agreement that I have with Dance is that I do not allow interference. My mind is silent and observing, like watching a silent movie. My emotions may connect and color my Dance, but they do not interrupt the flow. My spirit is open; giving Dance access to every possible avenue for tweak, adjust, shift or change.

Dance is a medium I use to guide and share Nia with my students. Dance is a medium I use to express how I "hear" music and other sounds. Dance is a medium I use to process and express my creativity. Dance is a medium I use to teach my body-self structure, organization, discipline and the medium with which I challenge my habits and tendencies. 

All Dance. All pieces of, but different from the Dance that I invoke specifically for healing.

Dance also helps me to stay vulnerable. I'll re-visit this.

 

Like Charlie Parker said, "If you ain't livin', it ain't gonna come out of your horn."

I know that you have come to expect only the most sophisticated of articulations on my part, but on this, I've just got one word: "yea".

Whatever my Dance looks like, it is a reflection of my life experience. It is a reflecting pool for the myriad of moments through which I have laughed, loved, cried, screamed, howled, cheered, sulked, chuckled, snickered, jeered (me? really?!?!), growled, snarled, giggled, whooped and hollered.

Dance as guide, mixer, expression, and discipline is the Healer. I have always danced, and I have always known that dance made me feel "better". Nia offers me a direct way to channel the energy that Dance and I co-create.

Dance is my medium. 

"Dance" is an interchangeable term for "being in my body". Dance gives me the vocabulary (movement and sensation) to Heal. 

Dance relieves my mind, spirit and emotions from the entire burden of life. What I can resolve and heal through my body, is that much less my mind has to think about and have to figure out. It's that much less my spirit has to bogged down over and that much less my emotions have to endure.

My body and Dance are also the vehicles through which I heal beyond myself, but I think that's for later...

Saturday Nia is Back! Nia Body Journeys: Learn the Routine

Saturday morning Nia Classes are back at the Indian Boundary YMCA in Downers Grove!!

10:30am-12pm

Learn the Routine: R1

Focus: Mastering the Basics

Intention: Increase Your Skill, Fun and Pleasure by more deeply embodying the moves of Nia

For the first 30 minutes of Class, we'll Learn of the Song of the Week. After a little practice, we'll dance the entire routine. "Song of the Week" is the song that we Learn and Move during the first part of the Saturday morning class. This song will be integrated into whatever routine we will be working with in the following week. Eventually, we will dancing the entire R1 routine with a new sense of intimacy.

Saturday 1, 10/15 - We Are All Connected

Saturday 2, 10/29 - Calling

Saturday 3, 11/05 - Lovers House

Saturday 4, 11/12 - One World, One People

Saturday 5, 11/19 - City of Light

Saturday 6, 11/26 - Shakin' It Up

Saturday 7, 12/03 - Shine

Saturday 8, 12/10 - Madh Assalhin

Saturday 9, 12/17 - Speck of Gold

We'll begin with Awareness and Sensation in the Base of the Body and Learn how the first piece of choreography begins in the feet and legs. Without music, we'll "walk through" each move/piece from the bottom up. This is a new process so I'll be learning as I share with the class.

I created the Nia Workshop Sandbox to share this type of information, but we're going to lose the Discussion Board app and without it, sharing this kind of process will be too cumbersome.  I'm posting the introduction on this blog, but I will probably create a separate blog for the follow-up and subsequent sharing.

F E A R of WHITE

Fear is truly the great equalizer.

We are all afraid of something. Doesn't matter what country we're from, what color our skin, what language we speak, which political party we align with, how many friends we have or how "successful" our businesses and lives are. We all know fear.

Many of us are afraid of failure. For me, the flip side of that very same coin is that I'm also afraid of success. And up until very, very recently, I feared myself. I know the good I'm capable of - I also know the damage I can inflict.

From the time I was around 12 years old I was informed by a trusted source, that I did not have the "right" complexion to wear white. I was a girl who loved fashion and wanted to please. I never wore white again. Until the week of August 20, 2011. 

Ridiculous? Absolutely! Real? Completely.

White, for me, is the color of transformation. 

On the last day of my Black Belt intensive I wore White with intention. 

Wearing White that day symbolized the many lies I had received and taken into myself as truths. 

Wearing White that day symbolized the power I relinquished in allowing someone else to define me.

Wearing White that day symbolized facing a life filled with a paralyzing fear of inadequacy and failure.

White is my Demon Slayer.

So now what? Now what am I going to do with this information?

First I'm going to live who I am. Let me repeat this significant statement in case you missed it 

(and in case I forget!):

I'm going to live who I am.

Without apology.

I will no longer apologize in word or action for knowing more than the person next to me (for whatever reason). Nor will I apologize for knowing less - good for them - I need to do more work.

I will no longer apologize by default or pretend to be small, discrete, invisible or otherwise unobtrusive so that someone else might feel better about themselves or feel less intimidated.

If I support you and encourage you, it's because I believe in you. You will get 100% - of my passion, of my intensity  - of everything I can give. I am capable to transmitting huge bursts of energy - I hope you use it well. And to balance, I expect to be able to ask for your support and encouragement in return.

I am deeply, desperately, passionately in love with the work of Nia, but if I don't step into that I will never get to share it in ways I know are possible (and ways yet to be revealed).

I will not apologize for getting angry at someone who deliberately hurts me. I will not apologize for a fair fight.

I will never, ever, again apologize for loving someone.

I am graceful, sensual, sexy, soft, edgy, strong, vulnerable, wicked, and gentle, willful, tempestuous, restless, peaceful, loving, generous, awkward, shy - and all before noon!

I've got work to do and I get all tingly and light-headed just thinking about it. Walk this path with me or get the hell off. And I mean that with all the love and respect in the world - truly. 

I don't need to be in control and I don't need for everything to be my way. What I need is to be surrounded by people who love life, who want to make a difference in the world, who are passionate about their dreams and in some way are stepping into making those dreams a reality, and it wouldn't hurt for those people to also love Nia!!

(Oh yea, and Santa, please let those people be honest and at least make sincere attempts at straightforward communication!)

If I'm going to ask, why not ask for EVERYTHING?

I am a Black Belt Nia Teacher and I wear WHITE!

and for the first time in so long I can't remember, I can honestly say, 

Life Is Good.

Thank you: Mom and Papa for terrible lessons (I know you love me), Randy for your endless support on my Nia path, Joe and Rachel for loving me just because - you inspire me every single day. Teri, you know me better than almost anyone and love me anyway - you are the sister I would have chosen. Thank you Stephaney for offering me the key, Denise for showing me how the key might be used, Carlos for owning your passion and sharing it, Ken for holding me accountable, Marty, Fred, and David for being authentic and sharing your truth. Thank you Kim for your unwavering acceptance, exuberance and words of wisdom, Robyn for telling me I'm not crazy, Holly and Sue for your gentle but firm honesty, Cathy for sharing yourself, your courage and your twisted sense of humor:), Sandi for your friendship and love. Kara, thank you for sharing your heart and your gifts, Tracy for your hard work and for answering questions before I asked them, LaLeila for being there when I needed you, Beth for your generous soul and beauty, Anya for sharing your huge, wide-open heart, Carmen for your grace, Julie A you are a walking, breathing sacred space - I always felt safe in your presence, Cecile for your lovely embodiment of Nia.

Debbie and Ann for reminding me of my wings.

There are probably more of you to thank. Don't be offended, I will get to you when the time is right. And there are those of you I cannot bring myself to thank just yet and a couple of you I may never forgive - but then nothing is finished yet.

Facebook Changes and Nia Local to Global

I am usually a fan of change. 

I am a fan of change especially when I understand how the change will improve the present circumstances. 

I am also appreciative when I've asked how I feel about the proposed change and how I might use this proposed change.

I am not at all happy about the loss of the Discussion Boards coming October 31st. Perhaps I am in the minority who uses the DB as an archive for information I share on Nia Local to Global and the Nia Workshop Sandbox. It was my intention when I created these pages to have info. on the feed but also available when friends and colleagues were ready for it.

I love to share information - without a time limit and I'm very disappointed in Facebook for removing this app. And where can I protest this? Here I guess.

What's my point?

POINT:

I'm going to move all of the information I've archived through this blog. It will be one way to remind anyone interested that the info. is available and won't be lost.

From now on, instead of clicking on the Discussion Board icon on the left side bar, to connect to this information, you can go to the blog page Space for Change or my blog, Space for Change at http://niaspirit-fitness-dance-life.blogspot.com

Right now, this seems like a complicated process, but I'm hoping that in the end (when I'm used to it), it will become as easy as the present process.

From discomfort almost always comes something new and wonderful...

So here it comes...

3 South African Dance Pioneers

3 South African Dance Pioneers
Reaching Out to the "New Woman" of Their Country


by Charlotte, Jaie Piers and Shalimar
posted September 15, 2011

Editorâs Note: While on my recent tour in England, Spain, and Morocco, (June 3011) I had the pleasure of meeting and interviewing Charlotte while she was also in Morocco at Simonaâs Mediterranean Delight Festival in Marrakech. Her generosity in helping Gilded Serpent give readers an overview of the development of Belly dance in South Africa has revealed a new part of the world to all of the Belly dance community. Each of these following three "Belly dance pioneers" offers her own unique outreach to modern day women of South Africa who are searching for a sense of who they are and who they might become through the vehicle of Belly dancing. Each instructor speaks of grounding her own dance students with an underlying philosophy for living and an ever increasing availability of dance education and performances in this evolving country.

South Africaâs Belly Dance: Authentic Essence?
by Jaie Piers

South Africa is a multi-cultural melting pot and Belly dancing is fairly new on the scene here, so its roots do not go very deep even though we have seen some well-known Belly dancers who have come here to do workshops (just as have some South African ladies gone abroad to participate in various workshops). One dancer comes to mind immediately: Hadia! Also, Mahmoud Reda stands out for me now. There have been many wonderful dancers, such as Tamalyn Dallal, Rania, Danisa (recently), Alia (Miss Switzerland Belly dance), and Yasmina of Cairo, plus many more.

South Africa is beginning to attract some global attention. Women are fusing Belly dance with other styles of dance, such as Indian dance, Bollywood, Hip Hop, Modern, and Jazz. Many students are jumping onto the bandwagon with Belly dance studios mushrooming up overnight! I, too, started my own studio just over ten years ago. Originally it was mostly "fusion" style, and then I experimented and delved into Tribal and Gothic. I have realized the absolute thrill of discovering that the richness of Middle Eastern music in its complexity gives one total freedom to interpret the soul and emotional body of the feminine. After realizing this, I parted ways with the confusion of mastering the art of Belly dance.

Much speculation has been paid to what is authentic in Belly dance. However, all too often a fusion of its more sexual and Western counterpart is blended together and is presented as authentic Belly dancing to uneducated audiences. By no means do I intend to criticize any style of dance. However, over a ten year period I have struggled to discover the essence of this dance, and I believe I now have it safely under my coin beltâ¦

To dance in the authenticity of this dance takes more than a certificate to say that one can; itâs more a combination of knowing the complexities of Middle Eastern music, and how to express oneself through the dance appropriately to its different nuances.

Plus, to be fully appreciated as a Belly dancer, one needs an audience that is familiar with Middle Eastern cultural forms. From the stand point of the dancer, one needs to be fully accomplished inside and out, and not dance with a Western attitude, which is prevalent in this country at the present time.

One should dance with the fullness of knowing her role in life, honoring that knowledge in its purity, and following the ideal of Middle Eastern feminine essence rather than dancing from a competitive space.

This attitude is what is perceived in Middle Eastern countries as true Belly dance by women and men both.

As dancers, if we sell out our feminine souls, and trade business for friendships and relationships that are not based on respect, then sadly those women who do sell out will have to deal with what they have created. I stand in opposition to this current wave of behavior which is being passed off as acceptable here in South Africa.

The matriarchs of our society got here by a process which deserves respect! What legacy do we leave behind when we honor only the masculine way of doing things in a womanâs world?

I realize that my views are not popular, because generally women feel invalidated and this is, I believe, the underlying reason for displaying poor behavior that is contrary to the feminine spirit. Some dancers are creating a distorted image of Belly dance and its place in society. Oneâs values and ethics involving oneâs self and others dictate the beauty of this dance which is performed from within and pours out from a deep space of truth. We women of South Africa are on this journey because, sooner or later, one realizes that whatever she does in life is a path to self knowledge and truth.

One thing I know for certain is that finding oneâs path is difficult, and the search for it has nothing to do with popularity. Once you give up your ego-driven quest and dance only for the purpose of passing on what you have discovered, all these egotistical elements cease to be important. I dance for this reason and canât expect everyone to understand me (or even agree with me).

My most important assertions are that every Belly dance teacher should be honest about what she/he teaches and why they are teaching it at all. Respect for teachers by their teaching students must be maintained, and they must acknowledge the input of each one. I would hope that they teach only for the sake of manifesting the sense of the Divine that sustains us all! I hesitate, for various reasons, to be specific about all the situations I have overcome as a dancer in Cape Town, and Iâm relatively sure that along the way I have been misinterpreted, misunderstood, and misrepresented from time to time.

For one, I search for my Goddess-essence within a home-based studio that I maintain as a haven for all women to dance in freedom of their own expression and who wish to learn the authentic art of Middle Eastern dancing. If we all try to reach the finish line first, we stumble over each other, rather than looking around and helping others along the way. When we work together, we can all have a party and finish together, not alone. Too often, I have reached out and shared my opportunities with my colleagues, only to be excluded from their activities in favor of women racing ahead of themselves. I used to wonder why, but now I think I understand.

Lately, there has been a move towards competition in Belly dance. I believe this is mainly due to following trends that set high standards in technique while omitting any focus on the emotional and healing aspect of the dance. This perhaps forces women more into masculine traits, which I find detrimental to feminine psyche in that it robs us of our feminine power. It takes real strength to be soft.

I have always believed it is valid to honor my own way of dancing and teaching, and refuse to participate in the world as if it were only a manâs world because I have found my place as a feminine spirit. I feel secure that, in this way, I now know everything from deep within myself. Also, I believe that I have found my own unique expression and am not a carbon copy of someone else.

The quality of individuality is the authentic essence of Belly dance.

At least, I believe it is so.

Shalimar of South Africa

In 1976, I was pregnant with my third child when I found a book called âGet Slim With Belly Dancingâ. It had 4 moves: pelvic circles, hip thrusts, shimmies, and shoulder thrusts. At the time, I was teaching a class in my lounge called âKeep Fit to Musicâ for 5 ladies. I worked out the moves described in the book I had found and then went looking for some music. The only music I discovered was the vinyl recording called âCaravansâ. When I played the music and tried out the moves, I felt that more moves seemed to come from my soul; the lovely music just pulled it out of my heart!

At this stage, my âKeep Fitâ pupils wanted to learn Belly dancing, as well. I had never seen Belly dancing because it was not performed in public in South Africa. The Turks and Lebanese were not allowed to live in South Africa at that time, and I had not seen any Belly dance on film. So apart from the picture of a dancer in costume and the moves given in the book, I had no idea what I was doing. I knew only that it felt great!

When my pupils started to nag, I went to Mr. Wally Green who was Head Choreographer for SABC Television at the time. I danced for him, and asked him what he thought I was doing. He said it looked like Belly dancing to him. Then, I felt at ease teaching my pupils.

Word spread quickly, and soon we were dancing at birthday parties! The newspapers got hold of the excitement, and I was given a 3-page article in the âSunday Times Magazineâ that was sent to Swaziland. A Turkish family who saw it contacted me and asked if I would perform for them in Swaziland. I agreed, and they sent me a video of the top Turkish Belly dancer of that time, and for the first time, I saw Belly dancing that I had not taught. (However, I was surprised to find that my dancing was similar.) So off I went to Swaziland, and my dance was much appreciated by the Turks and Lebanese of that country.

I had been teaching for five years before I received the dance that I was doing was something that the people of its origin loved. About seven years later, my pupil (who was an air hostess and flew internationally) gave a video recording of one of my extravaganzas to Bellisa who taught in Perth, and through that, I was invited to attend a âWorld Congress of Belly Dance Teachersâ to be held in Perth. I was very blessed as everything was prepaid, and I had the opportunity of attending a workshop given by Ibraham âBobbyâ Farrah who was a renowned teacher from New York. That was the very first lesson I had ever taken!

I had founded the Belly Dancing Association of South Africa about a year prior to my Perth trip but never really ran it as an associationâuntil one of my pupils said she would like to do some form of exam to see how she was improving. Then, I put together an examination syllabus and found that many people wanted exams. At this point, I realized that I was not good at administration, and with relief, let some board members take over the duty. Our Belly dancing association started to become the strong networking association that it is today, with an exam syllabus that is respected and adjudicated throughout South Africa as well as internationally.

I now teach what I call âBelly Fusionâ taking on the style of dance created by whatever music I am using at the timeâmay it be pop, Shakiraâs music, Turkish, Arabic, or Egyptian. Just allowing the music to be my guide, I also teach a âTribal Fusion Belly Danceâ that is very popular and brought my eldest granddaughter high praise as a âTribal Soloistâ at the Miss Belly Dance South Africa 2010 contest. She and her partner received fabulous âFirst Duetâ results. At the age of 66, I am as inspired by Belly dance as I have always been and teach my 14 classes a week that also include 3 classes of âShumbaâ (a high-energy, low-impact dance aerobics) that also give me so much pleasure!

A Dance Journey: Prominent Milestones
by Charlotte D. Blignaut

The first time I attended a class was in 1989, with Shalimar in Randburg, South Africa. I was bowled over! As a very shy woman, I had found at last a form of exercise that made me feel comfortable and secure! The style of Belly dance presented there seemed to be more Turkish in origin. Shalimar taught loads of floor work and back bends, all requiring high energy! I loved it! After a very short time, the instructor invited me to join her Advanced Professional Group. I remember that wonderful evening as if it were yesterday! The class made a huge, life-changing contribution to my dance, and it changed my life as well!

When an Egyptian travel agency invited me to travel to Egypt in 1994 to experience the Egyptian style of art, I thought I was in heaven for two reasons:

a trip to Egypt for free,
and the request to dance for their Middle Eastern clients (when they had events).

I was so flattered and humbled at the thought that I was professional enough to receive these opportunities! I brought back to the studio new educational information about the style of dance, especially folk-dance, and it was wonderful!

After a few years of dancing at The Tent in Rivonia, (my fantastic training ground for providing a cabaret show plus separate interactive participation), the word spread, and this opened many doors with other Mediterranean restaurants and Middle Eastern venues. After I helped organize the opening of Sheikhs Palace there, they requested Carmen and me to be the regular dancers at the venue. We were busy! (I can recommend never performing after 10 p.m. in the western world, however.) Sometimes, we danced five shows a day; the most I have ever done was eleven shows in five days! The reason I mention this is that different venues have a different clientele, and we found that they each liked a different kind of music. My dance style evolved out of this milieu and developed into my signature styleâone that combined the stunning individuality, presence, and isolation movements that are typical of Egyptian dance, combined with the inspirational high energy of the Turkish dance style. My high-energy dance became renown among my fellow dancers, and I began teaching private lessons in 1996 as a result. Increased demand led to the 1997 opening of the studio number one of Jewels of the Nile. We progressed from strength to strength. I created a syllabus that evolves all of the time, and eventually, franchised the publicly-acknowledged business.

The more I researched the art form of Belly dancing over the years, the more I saw how much there was, and still is, to learn! In the light of my growing dance independence, I made a commitment to myself to gather as much knowledge as possible about the various styles and cultures that influence the art. I have travelled to Egypt five times, once each to Lebanon, Turkey, and Brazil, and twice to Morocco. I have attended workshops in all of these countries, with fantastic, renowned teachers. I have met many students, as well as professional dancers and teachers from all over the world! I am in awe of the dance stars of the Middle East! I love what they share of themselves when they perform; it is not tangible, but it is uniquely superb! I adore that they are known by name; most of them use their own names, rather than stage names. Their own! I love it when a woman stands up, stands out, and owns who she is as a unique individual through the dance. This is why and what I teach women to do.

Be the representative of your truth. Be an individualâown it, and dance itâno matter who you are, and no matter what your truth isâjust be unique, authentic, and let your inner beauty shine though.

Also, I have worked with groups of women who have been abused, using Belly dance as our medium. It can be a powerful tool for empowering and healing when used with trained knowledge. This is where my interest peaked and prompted me to pursue furthering my education in the professional coaching field. Truly, Belly dance is a healing art form, which is the reason why it is not only limited to a public dance form, it is also useful for private and personal womenâs growth.

While it is true that I have experiences some times when I have wanted to stop teaching, it seems that clients and media in South Africa wonât let me. Every year that I arrive at that point, I have been approached for articles in newspapers, magazines, e-zines , or television and radio interviews. I have been fortunate enough to have danced at international and local Belly dance events (some for corporate clients). Once I even danced for an Arab prince in Seychelles on a floating raft. What fun it was! I was fortunate enough to attend the first teacher and performer certification seminar in Egypt. That was an honour for me!

I believe that by being a Belly dancer I have been blessed with a gift. I enjoy being able to train, teach, and share with willing students and professionals, what it takes to have staying-power and courage (to follow your dreams, make your path, leave your stamp on the world) and wake up feeling authentically glorious! As a Belly dancer, whether student or professional, you have afforded yourself the best and most varied education in the art of dance, so that you know that what you express is your own heartfelt expression of your soul.

One can never know what tomorrow will bring and never suspect what opportunities lie in adversity, until it is experienced. Belly dance helped me through so much adversity in my life! Eternally, I will be grateful for the dance that is constantly renewing my inner drive and passion.

Taking Back the Knife and Moving Forward: a Birthday Tale

I realize that in order to consciously help others to heal, I must be consciously healing myself as well.

The most powerful class I've shared since experiencing my Black belt intensive was our 9am, this morning. For today I indulged and picked a few of my favorites pieces of music from my collection of Nia routines. Every song I chose was a favorite. I took the time to eat breakfast rather slowly with my son this morning, so by the time I got around to organizing my playlist for class, I had little time. I made my selections quickly,  not taking the time to consider the possible impact.

The Focus: Moving Forward

The Intent: to get closer, every minute with every step to creating the life I desire; a life that is meaningful; to consciously create shifts that heal; to create a life within which I can share the gifts I was given (this will sound familiar to some of you); to give.

These are the songs I chose:

To Mend (Cadence)

Mulatica Mia (Aya)

Qalanderi (Humanity)

No Quiero Nada Mass (Aya)

Brasilero (Cadence)

Nostalgia Workshop (Clarity)

Dah Din Beats (DreamWalker)

Rhythm Is? (Aya)

Shine (R1)

Sail (Black Belt)

Organ Grinder (DreamWalker)

To Mend was so literally appropriate, I couldn't cue. I was emotionally overwhelmed and the silence is what was called for. 

To truly share the focus and intent, I had to quiet the insistent workings of my mental body. I asked that emotion and spirit inspire and guide my dance.

My creativity has felt a little flat over the past several weeks. I have been processing such an enormous amount of information over this year (both personal and professional) and since Black belt in late August. I realized this morning, though, that I have been processing in such a way that  kept my teaching and sharing separate from my processing. Today, through my "indulgence" the two came together and produced one of the most authentic, emotionally rich and balanced classes I think I have ever shared!

With every song, I brought my self, fully present; I brought my heart; my gift (reserved when I shared the focus, but it opened and blossomed with each note of music), I brought my emotional body and allowed pain, frustration, anger, hope, joy and impatience to fold into my dance in order to have a voice. I brought my physical body; my instrument, my somatic voice through which I communicate more clearly and with more authenticity than through anything else.

Technically the playlist worked nicely. The Warm Up allowed for our joints to practice standing, shifting, pushing, pulling, reaching, bending, expanding and contracting in gentle, nurturing ways. Mulatica Mia introduced expression, slowly and playfully. Qalanderi invited us to express more systemically; moving in detail - expressing through our beautiful spines, our delicately singing fingers; opening the door to another level of Get Moving. The energy built to individual peaks - different for each being dancing and then Shine soothed the intensity a bit. Sail was freedance. It was a breakthrough piece for me in Black and as such was a meaningful and appropriate offering. Organ Grinder reminds me of Halloween and my body always moves in intriguing ways.

The choreography was there, my creativity was there, knowledge of the music was there, all 4 realms were engaged, principles were there. I have never shared a class like this one. This was my first step into my next step, into my transformation; my future self made present. This experience was my shift. It showed me what can be done, how it can feel and why I teach this discipline called Nia. 

Moving forward...

Finding the Faith to Trust Myself

Two weeks ago tomorrow I left Chicago's Midway airport for Portland, OR to take my Black Belt intensive. I was excited to return to the city of Portland, and experiencing low-grade anxiety about stepping into this next level. I felt professional as well as personal stress. For me, Nia is my professional life and it is also my personal passion.

Some brief history:

Two weeks ago, if you had asked me how I was going to get around Portland (even though I've visited 5 times over the last year), I would have told you that I have to have a map - due to the fact that I have "no sense of direction". My mother always lamented her sense of direction, or lack thereof. I am also aware that in comparing women's and men's brains, women have a better developed language area while men have better spatial relations. This validated the fact that I wasn't just making up an excuse for getting lost alot.

On arriving in the Pearl District of Portland, I discovered that I didn't like the map I had. I exited the train and started to walk, first in the wrong direction then in the right one. I asked for directions once and lo and behold, with no map I arrived at the Portland International Guesthouse in one piece!!

It was in that experience that I decided that for the 10 days I would be in Portland, I would not use a map and I would not ask for directions. It was my intention to put aside my belief that I lacked a sense of direction and let trust take over.

The following morning I planned to take a master class from Nia Trainer, Ann Christiansen. Purportedly a 20-minute walk from the Guesthouse to StudioNia., I left 60 minutes early! I knew the general direction in which I wanted to go and I just headed that way. It took me 40 minutes and I definitely took the "long way home", but I did in with trust. I had faith in myself. I shared this experience with my beautiful Brown (and now Black) belt sister, Beth. Thank you, Beth for seeing me and for being there to share that moment.

For those of you who have either never been lost or for whom this has never been an issue, my accomplishment may seem small. Perhaps it is (no, I didn't find a cure for cancer) and that's ok. The point is that I found more than StudioNia - I found faith. And this faith fostered a sense of trust. Faith and Trust in myself that I have never before in my life owned.

I practiced this faith all week long. Every time I left either the Guesthouse or StudioNia I took a different route - usually on purpose, but sometimes due to mental and emotional distraction. During the week I asked for directions once (and I'm ok with that).

That walk became a moving meditation. Except for Thursday morning, I always made that walk alone. It was my ritual. Sometimes with music, mostly without. On Saturday morning, after the intensive was over and I was heading to StudioNia for a practice, I sang out loud! The whole way! 

I don't share my voice much except to talk (and if I don't know you well, I don't talk much). This is a stuck place for me, something else I'm healing. Honestly, I don't know what, if anything the sense of direction thing has to do with my voice, but I suspect there's a connection to finding faith...

This is the first attempt at putting my toe in the water in terms of sharing the revelations surrounding my Black Belt experience. There is an enormous amount for me to process. Eventually it will settle and it will be mine to fully embody and share.

Until then, who know what'll come up!!

P.S. If you're going to Portland, the Portland International Guesthouse has apartments for weekly rental. They are adorable, full kitchen, washer and dryer, clean, in a lovely residential neighborhood and the management is always warm, friendly and available!!

Peace and Quiet: Who Knew?

Finding peace in the midst of this hurricane that has been my life is a desire I have spent the better part of this year (and much of my life) lamenting (ok, fine - whining) over.

So much time, so much wasted energy and ALL I HAD TO DO WAS 

STOP TALKING!

"When the student is ready, the teacher appears."

"When the time is right."

When I need the information, it will be available for me.

Three days ago I discovered the ability to quiet the running commentary that has been a part of my mental self for as long as I can remember. I don't mean ignore, control or get rid of thoughts I didn't want to have. (Personally I do not believe such a thing is possible since the natural reaction is to think more about the "forbidden" thing rather than less!)

I have been doing study work for my Black Belt intensive, and concepts that did not resonate with me previously are becoming clear (or more clear). Yay! The best part has been the integration of concepts that previously felt foreign. With each belt intensive my integration process  is a little different. Sometimes it feels as though a principle had been mine all my life, with others, I feel as though I'm thinking through mud! 

Why?

When the principle was not easily embodied FIRST - my mind jumped in and started chatting. 

All this time (since my White Belt in 1999), I've been fighting the trees to see the damn forest!

I've spent my entire life monitoring the emotional equivalent of ricocheting bullets. In quiet, day-to-day life, my emotional body hums. During periods of stress, restlessness in all realms, and emotional volatility belied the unbearable presence of my overfed emotional self. 

The more consistently I work with my Nia principles (particularly Brown 2, 4 and 6) the more I understand what fuels and feeds my emotional energy. Most recently integration has given me peace and quiet. Without the ongoing monologue to feed my emotions, and keep me aching, angry or hurt, I am simply quiet and watching - waiting for what comes next.

Once I let go of the commentaries, I noticed that there has been reduced tension in my body and my emotions have been settled. As I have never before been a woman with "settled" emotions, I keep going in to feel! HA! Settled. 

Above, I used the expression "let go of" in terms of quieting my mind. I do not push my thoughts away, I don't argue with them and I don't attempt to ignore them. I take a breath, let my body soften and expand (as opposed to contracting or huddling around  the effort) and I let the chatter slip away. Oh, yea, and I've been sleeping better!

This is a new way to be, for me. Lovely. Elegant. Smooth. Comfortable.

Do I own it? Definitely not. It's a practice and being Embryonic, if I'm not vigilant I'll slip back into old patterns. I catch the monologue in mid-tsunami throughout the day (complete with body tension and emotion) and let it go - ahhhhhhhhhh - peace.

Peace.

Slow Motion - Intimate Somatics

I love learning new choreography - new Nia moves and the organic stuff that I generate from my personal fusion of Modern/Jazz/Ballet/Hip Hop. I listen to the music and let my body do what it wants, wading through my habits & tendencies until something fresh clicks. I have learned not to go looking. Actually it's when I'm NOT looking that the good stuff comes! (Isn’t that always the way!)

Mmmm, and what of the power of 3… my relationship with the music? (But that's juicy stuff for another day!!)

In general, if I'm not getting a move, continuing to move through at tempo doesn't work for me. If I don’t slow down I will simply be following somebody else’s directions and I will have to continue to follow since I am learning only a superficial level. It’s kind of the equivalent of never asking ‘why’. I’m just doing what I’ve been told me to do – and we all know I’m not good at that!!! It’s also no fun. Yea, someone else got me a new toy, but I only get to look at it, I can’t actually take it down off the shelves (or out of the garage!) and take it for a spin – I don’t know how to use it – it’s not mine.

Along the way I have noticed how unpolished, sometimes raw the material that bubbles up can be. Even as I spend time repeating and repeating so my body doesn't forget, it is still an unrefined little piece of a puzzle. For me, it's only when I slow it down; dismantle, breakdown, disassemble the movement word or sentence that I begin to understand what I've got, somatically speaking. And only in discovering the details, the buried treasure, will the moves ever be mine.

Another thing: expression and flavoring a move are completely in the details. That move has to be in my cells if I want to share its story. To do that, I take it apart so that I will learn that the foot step actually begins w/the heel and the arm thrash has to come from the base not the shoulder. Debbie Rosas Stewart and Carlos AyaRosas shared their genius with us and this part of the work that engrosses my mental body never ceases to inspire body, spirit and emotion as well!

Ooooo, soaring with wings is all about my shoulder blades and collar bones today, but if I add a very subtle undulation to my wing movement, I can engage more of my core. If I take it a step further and increase the range of motion in my wings and add travel and wish to sustain flying, then my feet become the base from which I create my flight. Adding my feet is also a lovely way to increase my energy so that I can sustain flight. Being in relationship with my feet and legs as well as the degree of intimacy I have with my base will determine not only the amount of energy I am circulating, but also the emotional connection that is available to me.

If I am busy working to maintain flight, I have less energy with which to connect to my emoting process. If I cannot connect and be present to my emotional body, my movements will be all mechanics. They will be assembly line. Lifeless; meaningless. Empty and colorless. Out of balance.

(Alot like life as a whole without emotional balance.)

My mental self will be complaining that I’mtiredandcan’tIdosomethingelse (you know, ‘are we there yet?’) andwhenarewegoingtodosomethingdifferentthisisboring… Spirit? Lost in translation. Lost in the ocean of  it’sallIcandotomaintain…battery running low…running out of juice…can’t go on much longer…

Settle and Open

Look and See

Body. Mind. Spirit. Emotion. Blend. Connect. Sense.

Slooooooooooooooow …

Awareness in action.

Insight expanded.

Intimacy in motion.

Without Stories

What would happen if I approached everyone I know and therefore have some sort of story with, without the story?

I don't know.

What I do know is that by just thinking through such a scenario, I felt dramatically different. In taking that few minutes to invision a situation I'm going to encounter when I travel to visit my parents, I immediately received remarkable ease.

I'm not going to wait until I visit my parents, though, I'm practicing it today. Peacefully, I'm alone in the house right now, but my daughter will be home soon and the experiement will begin...

I'll let you know how it goes.

Btw...

If you see yourself in my postings it means that either you're totally self-centered and everything is about you, OR, I really did write based on an experience I had relative to you.

If it hurts you, feel free to talk to me about it - preferrably in person or over the phone if you're far away. It is never my intention to deliberately hurt anyone, but I might poke you with a stick!

If it pissed you off, ok. We can still talk about it if you'd like. No hesitation, but if you're planning to "rip me a new one" - you'll be wasting your time.

If you read yourself in something I've written, it is probably because I've learned something from you. Painful or delightful. Fair or unfair. Something I could have gone my whole life without hurting through, or grateful I didn't miss.

My grandmother used to say that if something made me mad (you can also read 'defensive'), it might have been because I was the one who did something wrong.

Mmmm, Love or Fear?

(thanks for the reminder, Dana!)

It's Not You, It's Me!

Let me preface this posting by acknowledging the concept of words as mere sounds. Yes, Jason, I am working with this. It resonates deeply. This posting is not about words, however, it’s about the intention behind the words.

"There is power in vulnerability."

Someone I trust said this to me not long ago. She said this in response to my disclosure of:

when I meet you, you have my trust. You don't have to prove yourself. I also give multiple chances if you do something that threatens that trust. After awhile (or something catastrophic), it's gone and then if the relationship is to continue, there's work on both sides.

My trusted friend doesn't agree. It's important to stay vulnerable, that's where the strength is. I understand. There is nothing to be taken when it’s offered.  (The most dangerous man is the one who has nothing to lose.)

I am openly vulnerable. I rarely hide my feelings. (I'm lousy at it, anyway - you can pretty much just look at my face...) My Nia practice has been instrumental in my continued ability to remain open and vulnerable. Not needy (though occasionally in need, like we all are from time to time), but searching.

Here's my question: when can I just be good and pissed off and hurt when someone else is careless? Truthfully, in a culture that is supposedly moving towards honoring others, I feel like we're moving backwards. Yes, I appreciate that I no longer need validation from another person in order to feel sad, however, it seems that I can't be angry with someone else for damaging behavior because it's "just where they are". When I am hurt from the words or behavior of another, when do I get to be hurt?

I have stepped into a world of healers. And there is another language spoken. It’s a beautiful language for those truly living the words. For others, some mere pretenders and others still making the climb, it is a slippery slope of communication.

It’s easy to hide behind lovely poetic, new agey speak such as “I’m just not in a place where I can…”, “I can’t be what you need me to be” (that’s a very smooth way of shifting responsibility), “this is not about you, this is my issue”, (so even if you are hit by shrapnel, unfortunate) “this is not part of my journey” (therefore I am free to be as irresponsible and totally unaccountable for my actions as I like).

How about:

“I really don’t care about you or your feelings.  This is about me and I’m going to do whatever it takes to get what I want and if you happen to become collateral damage, well, that’s too bad. When I’m where I want to be, then maybe I’ll consider caring about someone else. But don’t count on it being you.”

I like that much better. (No sarcasm here.) It is honest (yikes!). It is taking full responsibility for behavior (novel idea, I know). It’s courageous (yea, baby, it’s takes some serious gonads to say that to someone’s face – NOT their email!). The downside – WOW is it gonna hurt!! But I guess it’s kinda like the band aid thing – just R I P it off! Whatdaya think?

“It’s not you, it’s me.” First this little expression was something guys said to dump their girlfriends. Then it became a cliché, then a joke.

Now it’s back again in the form of “this is my process”.

Back to my preface. Words. Words. Words.

90% of what I communicate is N O T the words I use.

Rinse and Repeat:

90% of what we communicate is N O T the words we use.

Just to be sure:

90% of what we communicate is N O T the words we use.

Even in those individuals most disastrously disconnected from their bodies, 90% of what they are conveying will not come from the words they choose.

If I tell you that I am a healer, that I am sensitive, intuitive, supportive and nurturing and during our conversation I make minimal eye contact, do not sit facing you and rarely remember the details of the conversation – will you leave me with “healer”, “sensitive”, and “intuitive,” “supportive” and “nurturing”?

If you tell me that you are a healer, that you are sensitive, intuitive, supportive and nurturing  and during our conversation you make minimal eye contact, do not sit facing me and rarely remember the details of the conversation – your words, “healer”, “sensitive”, “intuitive,” “supportive” and “nurturing” will not be what I receive.

“Walk the Walk”,

“Actions Speak Louder than Words”,

are a couple more cliché’s.

• Am I always graceful, efficient, succinct and on-target with my communication? Nope.
• Am I carrying hefty word-related baggage from my childhood that occasionally gets in the way of my ability to transmit and receive with impeccability? Absolutely.
• Do I get confused when someone says one thing with words, but what they do communicates a different intention? Yep.
• Do I want to be the transmitter or receiver of the “How About” paragraph? Never. Ever.

I have work to do.

Technology is wonderful. I love, love, love email, Facebook and texting.

What’s not to love?

I can’t see your body or your face, so impeccability is vital. I will say what I mean, no tone or attitude implied. I ask that you do the same.

If you made a mess of something, clean it up and I will do the same.

 (Does this sound like I'm taking way too much stuff personally? Allow me to clarify. I am not. I take very little personally. [And, please let us not venture into the realms of "don't take everything so personally, it's not about you", "this is not personal", or "get over it, "cheer up", "smile", "I was just kidding"...]

Some things are personal.)