Self-Activation

Throughout my life, I've heard a variety of people say, in a variety of ways:

"If you want something, go and get it. If you wait for someone to give it to you, you'll never get it."

I've never doubted the wisdom of this advice, but neither could I prove reliability. Ok, if I REALLY wanted something, I might take control of a situation and engineer the results in my favor. This never ended well. The results I got were more like Final Destination; I stepped in, changed the course of the journey and now everything is off. Eventually it must be set right. Unfortunately in life, it should be set right, but it isn't always and people can go through their lives, unhappy and unsatisfied, even angry and bitter, doing what they are suppose to, rather than what is theirs to do.

There is a difference between forcing an event, a relationship, a path and trusting the process. In the first place, there is no ease. The journey is forced and it feels like it. Even though I'm supposedly getting what I want, it is constant work, constant worry and little pleasure. Energetically speaking, all this work to get what I want, regardless, takes it's toll. I am exhausted. How much fun do YOU have when you're exhausted??? Me neither and I'm cranky to top it off.

When I trust the process, I relinquish control but not the work it takes to be successful. Fears and worries melt and the path seems to open before me. In terms of energy, I'm expending less. Interestingly, I've discovered that I am much more intune, I feel as though I am in sync; in the rhythm of of the dance that is my life. For me that also means instead of going-going-going and over-riding my body's signals for mind-body-spirit-emotion rest, I stop and rest.

Sound easy? It isn't. Just because I sense that I am on the right path doesn't mean that all of the work to create what I want to be my life is going to be done for me. I don't live in Hogwart's; dinner doesn't magically appear on the table at dinner time! I have to do the research, I have to study, I have to show up, I have to step into new situations, I have to pay the bills (a bit closer to on-time), I have to practice, and I have to make the calls. But when I do this, the results really feel like mine. I am no longer walking through someone else's life. I have Self-Activated.

I began my experiments with Self-Activation in my Nia classes. Debbie Rosas Stewart and Carlos AyaRosas would give me the cues, "webbed spaces", "sustain", "push the earth away as you step" and I felt the difference. No weights or props in my hands or attached to my body whatsoever. ME. Just me.

(Nice accidental opportunity for the I AM ENOUGH thought!!)

It's work, though. It drains my physical battery so maybe not all the time. After all, my classes don't know how much energy I'm putting out, right?

Potential Spoiler: I'm going to share a trade secret. When I taught aerobics, I learned to "fake it". I could teach several Sports Conditioning, Boxing, Step, Extreme Whatever classes and survive. I survived, but I didn't receive the benefits. I was there, in the front of the class, going through the motions. The point: I was going through the motions!

Self-Activation drains my battery, at first. Like any new activity, mental, physical or otherwise. HOWEVER, if I keep the integrity of my effort, I reap rewards.

POINT: No more faking. No more going through the motions. I want the results, the rewards; I want my life, and my livelihood.

Since I set the intention of doing my best to Self-Activate in my classes, my students have noticed and commented.

Since I set the intention to step into my life, people around me have noticed.

I have changed. I am different.

Am I scared? Sometimes, but I've discovered the difference between being scared (immediate/acute) and being fearful (present over a period of time/chronic) and I am scared sometimes but I am no longer fearful.

How about you? Share your story! Tell me how you have or are Self-Activating and what you've discovered!

Turn Yourself On - Rinse and Repeat!!

I did lots of talking in that last posting without really getting specific.

I made a suggestion, but I didn't give any information as to the What I was actually suggestion. Nor did I give much in the way of the How.

Last post I offered you the expression "Self-Activation". This is one of my favorites!

In the physical realm it is creating the positive tension that results in fitness. In the mental realm it is synonymous with responsibility (thanks for picking that up, Jill!) . In the emotional realm it is accountability. In the spirit realm it is the opportunity for creativity.

When you energize Self-Activation, you take back your personal power and the control of your fitness and wellness needs and goals. YOU are in the driver's seat!!!

Take a minute and think about that!

That's big - really B I G!!!!!

The beautiful thing about Self-Activation is that it plays off of Awareness and The Body's Way and Your Body's Way. Once you connect to Awareness and are sensing your body and how it feels as you are doing what you are doing, you are in your body's way!

Let's take another minute - you are in Your Body's Way!

You are acutely aware of the temperature in the room, of the surface on which you sit or stand, of your clothes brushing your skin. Is your body in comfort and ease? If not, begin to move gently and tweak your position until you are comfortable. Continue to nurture the relationship between your body and sensation.

Let's begin with one step.

To initiate your relationship with Self-Activation begin with Pleasure. Each time you ask your body how it feels and your body tells you it's not in comfort and ease, i.e., pleasure, tweak until pleasure is restored.

Ask. Listen. Activate.

Turn Yourself On!

Did I get your attention?

Cheap, provocative trick?!?!

Provocative, definitely! Cheap? Not at all, it says what I mean.

SELF-ACTIVATION

When you eat your favorite food, do you wait for someone to tell you how much you like it before you realize how much you like it?

As your heart beats, is there someone telling it when to beat? Is there someone telling it what sort of rhythm it should have? Is there someone who suggested a murmur?

We each have our own way of experiencing our lives.

Our taste buds are particular to us and while there are those who suggest we might like something, ultimately it is our bodies that have the last word.

My heart has it's rhythm. It also has a murmur. When I exercise, my heart rate adjusts in its pattern that is not quite the same as anyone else's.

When I pay attention to my breathing, I hear something unique. My body also knows how to do this without outside interference (or "help").

Heart beat and breathing are driven by our autonomic nervous system. They happen without our consciousness because they must when we're unconsciousness. We can interrupt, but not for long and doing so would be deterimental to our life span. We have no control here.

Point: WE CANNOT RELINQUISH CONTROL OF OUR HEART BEATS AND BREATHING TO SOMEONE ELSE. (Barring extenuating medical circumstances.)

Question: Would we if we could?

Is that a ridiculous question? Are you laughing and wondering what idiot would relinquish control of their heart beat and breathing to someone else?

Oooo, how about this one: can you affect who you fall for? This one makes your heart pound, the other one - not so much - maybe not at ALL?!

How about this question: what size is your body suppose to be?

How about this one: why do you have the job you have?

Mmmm: why are you going or did you go to the college you went to?

If you hate your job, why don't you change?

Do you love the clothes you wear?

Do they reflect your personal style? If not, why not?

Do you speak up when someone hurts your feelings? If not, why not?

Those are tough. This one is easier: when you take an exercise class, do you take the class from the teacher who will give you the best workout?

Does the therapist take away the depression?

(If your answer to this one is "yes", I'd like the name of your therapist, please!! Just leave it in the comment section.)

SELF-ACTIVATION

So now What?

I believe that anything is possible.

My potential for love has expanded.

My capacity for love has expanded.

Freedom's door has been pushed ajar.

Nice words. Nice sentiments. So now what do I do with it?

If I truly believe anything is possible, than there is nothing to fear (other than the dark). This does not guarantee that everything I do will be successful, it just means go ahead and do without preconceived expectation. Now I get to define "success".

In the culture in which I went to high school and in which one of my children went to high school success in life meant getting into a "good" college (narrowly defined), graduating and getting a "good" job (sharply defined) and making alot of money. It did not mean "do what you are", "follow your heart", or "work at what you love" and nothing was mentioned about being happy. "Joyful"? Only in the hymnal. "Pleasure"? If you're lucky you might find that in the bedroom.

I AM A FAILURE.

And sadly I have mixed feelings about that. I say sadly because since I "do what I am", have been "following my heart" and "working at what I love", I am a happier person. I am a more generous person. I am a more patient person and I am a more loving person. I am still waiting for the financial abundance, but since I am more patient these days, I trust that when I am in that place it will come. I'll keep you posted!!

I am in the tangles of stabilizing and tweaking the flow of wiggly spaghetti noodles that is presently my life. I see the Possibilities. My Love for this work and passion are driving me to manifest these possibilities. However, in order to have the Freedom to follow my heart, I have quite a bit of groundwork to do. First I need a ground to stand on!

The Possibility: Tools for Transformation

My Love and passion: Nia and my desire to share it's depth

(Freedom = Groundwork + Ground)

Freedom = Research + Day Job

Will I wait until all the details are perfectly in place - ofcourse not! I stepped in months ago and T4T is alive and well and growing daily. I envision sharing this work in a wide variety of venues, I see classes, workshops and labs full of students and other teachers and I know the One-on-One will pulse with "thrivability" (thanks, Jeff!).

Step into your greatness - step into your way of creating a sustainable, meaningful and joyful life.

Tell me your plan!!

Possibility-Love-Freedom

I believe anything is possible.

My potential for love has expanded.

Freedom's door has been pushed open.

Functional Fitness: Nia-based One-on-One Training

I've been thinking about this one for a loooooong time.

When I was invited to share One-on-One training, the first question I asked myself was "what have you done?!?!" Just kidding!

The question was: what form should this work take? This one little question has been causing me major heartburn and some pretty damn serious anxiety.

How should I share this? A one-on-one class doesn't even sound comfortable unless the student is already a Nia lover.

I'm almost embarrassed to type the next question - NO! I AM embarrassed to type the next question!!

Before I do, I will preface this step into humiliation with the following:

why did I make this so complicated?

it feels nice to get out of my own way

I may have been a top runner for the Nobel Prize for Over Thinking!!!

Ready? *wince*

How do I translate the work from class to one-on-one?

I'm sitting here shaking my head woefully. Had I learned nothing from all of the Nia Belt Intensives I have participated in? I'm a Brown Belt Nia teacher for God's sake! Sigh.

Putting the flogging implement away...

I was so caught up in keeping movement in a relatively narrow scope, that I almost missed the point.

POINT: any and every movement form can be brought into this practice.

Luke (you know, Skywalker?!?), it is not the movement, but the approach - the philosophy of the practice that makes it Nia-based.

And where, you might ask, did I happen upon this brilliant epiphany?

From yesterday's run. From processing My Body's Way in yesterday's posting.

Al-RIGHT, not my finest intellectual moment - jeez - but hey - I'm here!!

The Body's Way - the da Vinci code - the treasure map

My Body's Way - the treasure

Functional Fitness - a sucky name for a beautiful way to train the body to do anything*

*"anything" meaning this can be used for a soccer player, a dancer, a caterer looking to gain endurance, a business man who wants to get stronger, etc.

Needs a new name.

Any suggestions?

Are You Ready?

Are you ready to begin?

Are you prepared for what you are about to do?

Are you relaxed as you begin?

Your Body's Way

I know that in a perfect world My Body's Way would mirror The Body's Way. I'm certain I would have perfect alignment, perfectly even muscle balance and I would be able to execute every move I chose with such grace, fluidity and ease, that I would never have an ache or pain.

If you live in this perfect world, please write in and tell us about it! We'd love to hear how the other half lives!!!!

The Body's Way is the ideal. It is the body the way the body was designed. Check out Grey's Anatomy (the book, not Patrick Dempsey!!) and you will see The Body's Way.

My Body's Way is a mix of how I came into the world (bit of scoliosis) and how I have lived my life in my body. Hockey and a motorcycle accident between 15 and 19 gave me chronically painful knees resulting in 3 knee surgeries. Teaching aerobics and dance initially resulted in hip tendonitis. Dance and Nia is healing both the knees and the hips. Not sure what caused a pelvis tilted to the anterior, but here it is.

My intention, now, is to not only continue moving for the rest of my life, but to move with pleasure, with grace, with ease and joy - for the rest of my life. I absolutely believe, without a shadow of a doubt that the only way I can manifest this is to uncover My Body's Way let it show me. In other words, I need to listen to what my body tells me and do what it says. (The fact that the descriptive phrase "obedient child" would never have passed my parents' lips, it has taken me awhile.)

I began to run at 17 to lose weight. I ran too fast. I didn't understand that I was running too fast (my body was telling me, but I wasn't listening). Previously as a track athlete, I was a sprinter and sprinters run fast. Sincerunning distance of any sort is different that experience began what was to be a wary love/ hate relationship with running.

Along the way I trained runners, I had marathoners for friends and I ran off and on. I appreciated the sport and the athletes who excelled it in and I loved to watch those built to run do what they were built for - beautiful! By this point I HATED running. Part of it was ego: I'm an athlete, dammit, why can't I overcome this. The rest was the way my body felt when I tortured it (uh, went running).

That was not My Body's Way. I was not listening. I can be extremely stubborn sometimes.

Some years later my daughter joined the cross country team at school and had to prepare during the summer before the practices began. I told her I would run with her. I'd never met anyone I could run with but I wanted to encourage her. First of all, I'd found a running partner. Second, I'd found My Body's Way!

My daughter is an intelligent young woman who is reasonable when she begins something (unlike her mother... we'll leave it at that), so we began to run at a very slow pace. My body began to speak to me in the dulcet tones of pleasure: mmm, breath is easy and even, "thank you for not slamming down on me when you land", cooed my feet, "hey, this is just the amount of tightening I need to balance the flexibility I receive in Nia" bubbled my tendonitis-plagued hip.

I honestly wasn't so proud of the pace. My daughter had long-since picked up speed but my body just wasn't ready. I resisted my tendency to push before I was ready. It took my 3 months to get there, but I gradually picked up my pace and learned that I was running at a similar pace as a marathon runner I'd read about. Cool. What was the best, though was that I'd unlocked the the treasure chest and the treasure I was rewarded with was my body!!

Unlike everything else I did, I was not in my body when I ran. Often running was a means to an end and I performed it like a chore, to get it done.

Now, my body actually craves the chance to run. "Can we, can we? Oh please, can we run today?" and I feel the sensation of longing and I love that.

This listening to what my body is telling me is Awareness. Every movement we do can be done with awareness. Opening the car door, reaching for the cup of coffee we ordered, getting in and out of a chair. And while we're conscious of what we're doing, why not sense the grace, the elegance, the beauty in each and every one of those movements??

In Nia we call this Dancing Through Life. Every move is intentionally full of ease, regardless of speed. We don't have to be in the studio to be dancing - why not dance all day long?!?

Importance of Awareness and Your Body's Way??? Let's see, if you're walking down the street with your eyes closed and there is an open pothole, there is a possiblility of bad things happening. If, however you decide to walk around with your eyes open (Awareness engaged), you will see the pothole and chances are far better you will not have those bad things happen. Our parents tell us, "open your eyes" - yup - Awareness is simply opening another set of eyes.

Open your eyes. Enjoy the body you're living in. Dance through every single day of your life!

Your Body's Way.

Balance: Knowing When to Release and Let Go

Happy New Year!

Intentions and Resolutions. Stepping in and Stepping up. Are you in or are you out?

I know that I am not going out to "find" balance in my life. I know that I am going to create it within my four realms, mental, physical, spirit and emotional. With that clearly stated, understood and in pretty good working order, how am I going to right an imbalance that I, myself have allowed?

Trust = Balance

A little over a year ago, I stopped finding reasons why I couldn't get where I wanted to go in terms of Sacred Livelihood or WholeHearted Life's Work. When I let go of the "how", what I needed-what I desired began to manifest. After a year of manifesting what I desired, I am in a very different place and for the first time I am using the word "trust" in context without other people. Earlier in this Year of Magic (ooo, that just came to me - I like it!!), I began to use the expression "trust the process". I had used it before in an off-hand sort of way, but now I find that I am totally present to the very process I am suggesting be trusted. The word "trust" has even taken on a new dimension to my emotions and spirit, a wider scope in my mind, and a more open feel in my body.

Have you ever felt trust as a sensation? Can you describe it? How does it feel to you now?

This morning I was given a ritual gift. This gift gave me more and took more than I could have imagined. Later, in the mirror, I stood before a different woman. I trusted that this gift was a right step on my path; I knew it in my heart as I participated and I know it now. I am trusting this process.

Inspite of the Year of Magic and this gift, I am choosing pain in my heart. And with sharp awareness, I sense my loss of balance. I know, every day, that this costs me and yet every day, my heart makes this choice. My spirit senses the possibilities and for that I wait.

How long do I wait?

(While my body is not that of an endurance athlete, my heart is.)

Where are the lines? How many do I draw before I just can not draw another one?

Can I balance the energy this takes from me and returns in abstemious doses while I wait? If I can't, should I wait? If I can, do I continue to wait, and trust that natural time will take us where we should be? Shall I trust in this process?

Friend. Life Experience. Spouse. Lover. Partner. Parent. Sibling.

When the question in my heart is, "what have I got to lose by letting go?" and the answer is "nothing", I may have just found my answer...

Or (my favorite word after "why")

if I can find peace through trusting natural time...

Am I in or am I out?

You?