Why Black, Why Now?

Nia is an organic movement and lifestyle practice.

In December, I made the decision to take the Black Belt Intensive this year. At the time I felt compelled for a reason I could not put my finger on. As the new year blew in, and brought with it a host of new decisions, additional, more painful responsibilities, grief to be met and dealt with on several levels, what I received was, "this is for me".

In 1999 I took the White Belt for the first time. My life was in transition. I was completely unsettled; not sure where I was going to be living, if I would have a job when I returned to South Carolina from North Carolina. I needed to open a new chapter that was truly mine, not something I picked up from someone else. I'd been teaching fitness and wellness already for 7 years. It wasn't what I wanted to share with the world anymore - it wasn't enough. For the first time, I opened this circle, for me.

I had no idea what I had stepped into...

I didn't teach anything for the 5 years.

When I moved to a new home 1000 miles from home, I felt isolated. I didn't fit in (I hear those sarcastic gasps!). I needed my place; a place for me. I created it with Nia.

In 2006 when I took my Blue Belt intensive, I was ready to expand; to explore more of this world, to add another elegant element to my circle. There was Magic there, I could feel it and I wanted to learn how to share more of it with my students.

White Belt had offered me the safe place to discover why someone who had spent her entire life dancing couldn't shimmy. A gift.

Blue Belt invited me to face my shyness and social awkwardness; again in a safe space, but in a space that requested I take ownership of my discoveries. Another gift.

Last year, I immersed myself in the White Belt intensive again. After 11 years quite a bit had changed, but much was the same too. I could be a student, a beginner. A powerful gift. This White Belt reminded me of the discipline that was lacking from my personal practice as well as what was lacking from my professional practice. This foundational week also found me standing in the front of the group (not as teacher, just, in an extremely rare moment, in the front of the room), tears streaming down my face, once again acknowledging a long-time demon. Not feeling shocked and speechless as I had the first time but angry and determined to be done with these limiting issues. It was another step toward getting out of my own way. Another another gift!

 It was important for me to re-take the entire belt rather than auditing sections. White Belt is the foundation to all of the Nia work, many years had gone by and many changes had occurred. In order to be the best Nia teacher I could be, my foundation had to be strong and has to remain strong. I have to keep up. I want to keep up!

Green Belt, 4 months later, allowed me to choose to be a beginner. At other times, it was reinforced that I am on the right track technically as a teacher. As in all the belts, there were the "ah ha" moments and the "ah" moments as well as the delights of learning a new skill. Yep, more gifts.

 Brown Belt, 3 months after Green, opened my Body, Mind, Spirit and Emotions to the deeper, higher, wider and richer possibilities of Nia and of Life. I will be processing that experience in some way for the rest of my life. Gifts indeed.



Each time I was asked why I had come to take a particular intensive, one of my answers was invariably to improve my teaching skills and to be able to offer a more enriching Nia experience for my students.

 

I was swimming around in my Blue Belt manual earlier tonight and I arrived at Principle 6 and read what I was not ready to receive at the time I took the intensive (maybe I didn't need it yet). This Principle deeply resonated with me at the time of the intensive. I felt as though I'd found a missing puzzle piece. This piece affected me as a teacher and had always affected me as a woman, friend and mother.

Tonight, 5 years later (next month) I am reminded that I still have much to learn and put into practice. Another piece of the puzzle was revealed. I am only Crawling in one aspect of Principle 6 - and sometimes I'm only Creeping... but as long as I am practicing, I am moving "forward".

Why Black Belt? Why Now? For me.

It's time for my circle to reach it's fullness. I will simply have taken all of the basic belts. I'm still tripping over my own feet, socially and sometimes literally (mercifully my students pretend not to notice!), but I can honestly say that I am doing my best. I'm not just listening and reading, I am DOING. I have incredible tools to create the meaningful life I wish to live. 

It's time to open the next circle. Once again I am in transition. Nothing is certain. Where will I live? How quickly can I finish school? When will I have a job? My parents are slipping away and my youngest is leaving home for college next year. When I told a friend (and fellow Nia teacher) that I had signed up for Black, her response was, "Wow! That's big! That's really big!" I agreed but didn't feel the full power of her words. I do now.

Yea, Kim, this is gonna be really big! Thanks.

I've almost done them all - so by the end of this year I will have learned all there is?

Not. Even. Close.

My Black Belt intensive will be both ending and beginning.

And that point is what drove me to create this post.

What will Blue reveal to me next? White? Brown? Perhaps I should spend a bit more quality time in Blue!

Nia is an organic practice.

Fitness. Dance. Life.

Body. Mind. Spirit. Emotions.

Gratitude.