"All you need is love."
Who said that?!?!?!?
When I was a little girl, I believed that. When I fell in love for the first time, I really believed it. Then I started hearing things like, "Yea, but love won't pay the bills!" In the literal sense this is true. Very practical. I've never been terribly practical but it did make sense. Silly lovers!
Now, as a 40-something woman, I, once again believe.
Love is not one of the Principles of Nia, nor do we sit around discussing how it might be practically defined, but Love flows through everything that is Nia.
Love is High Magic. There is nothing higher.
It does sorta seem almost magical how, when love is present, given and received - even perceived - life takes on a more brilliant hue. Funny, I'd been waiting for the opportunity to offer this class and all of a sudden, the door opened - like magic! I just seem to be drawing the people I desire into my life right now. What is so different? What am I doing right?
Think I'm wrong - go ahead, I dare you - fall in love! Then come back and tell me how it's going.
Love. Connection. Communication. Touch. Feel. Sense.
How do we accomplish the above long distance? Or around the corner, with our crazy schedules? With all of the gifts of the internet, a relationship of any sort does appear to be easier to sustain. "Lovers" (I use parenthesis because there is a limit to what internet can truly accomodate!), friends, Facebook friends, professional contacts, acquaintances, Facebook acquaintances - as long as we are gracious, appreciative, happy, we can communicate. Sort of. We can connect or stay connected. Really?
If you send me a loaded email, my choices are to blast one back and either wait for a reply or go do something else and forget you. If I sent the loaded email, I can walk away from my computer and I never have to look at your reply - ever.
How was my email - the expression of my thoughts and feelings - received?
One person's slap-in-the-face is another person's gentle-friendly-nonjudgemental offering.
Be Impeccable with Your Word.
How about:
Be Impeccable with the Electronic Devices with which You Transmit Your Word.
I have come to believe that there are some conversations that should never, ever occur via email.
Would you breakup with a lover over the phone - call or text? Ofcourse not! By email, hopefully not. Would it be easier? Would it save you the discomfort of seeing the pain in his eyes and hearing the grief in her voice? Yes! Yes!
Is it easier to blast someone you believe has wronged you by text or email? Undoubtedly. They get no chance to respond; they are defenseless. Do they have a choice and chance to write a text back or send an email reply?
Yep, but the magic is that you don't ever have to read it.
How magical is that? Wow! I can have hundreds of relationships and I never have to be emotionally responsible. I never have to look them in the eye to ask or answer and uncomfortable question. I never have to see them humiliated or devastated by my careless words or by my simple carelessness.
Communication can be complex. The fact that we convey more of what's really going on inside us with our body language than our words makes the concept of social networking through our computers potentially disasterous.
This leads me to believe that the internet is really not the place to bring, create of sustain anything real in terms of communication. Misunderstanding is too easy to come by. At least with a phone call, I can hear the tone of your voice; you can hear the hesitation in mine or I can express to you, right there in that moment that what you received when I spoke (or wrote) was not what I intended. When in doubt, pick up the phone.
"All you need is love."
We reserve that word for those who know all of our secrets, occasionally those we sleep with and hopefully those we choose to spend large parts of our lives with. Otherwise it's rarely said. I admit to myself that I love many of my friends, but until recently I did not admit it to them. I've always felt love for close friends, but that word is "sacred". (Would it freak them out if I said it? Would they run screaming?!?!) I find now as I go along that I would like to tell some of those in my life that I love them so that they will feel connected, supported and cared for. I'm learning.
As I step into the next moments of my life, I will be reading with different eyes. When I write I will ask myself if this should be expressed in a way that can activate more of the senses. If I have to question whether or not the person I'm communicating with will be hurt by what I'm writing, I think I'll pick up the phone instead...
Love, Catherine
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