Acceptance

Acceptance has never been a word I use often. When I was a child my mother used to say "that's the way it is". It made my viscera churn (I'm practicing my new vocabulary :). It still does. I have come to the conclusion, after 40+ years of observation and interaction with my mother that what she meant was "this is how I want it to be, but I will not take ownership of it" and/or "I'm a big a victim of my life as your are and we just have to endure it". My mother is very sweet person, the gentlest human being I have ever met, but she was and is a victim of her life. I was too, for a long time. I realize this in hindsight (nasty and 20/20)I'm not built to be a victim, though. I'm not exactly sure why - I could throw out a few theories and some one-word descriptions of my personality that may or may not shed light on the subject - but it'll stand: I'm not sure why.

I have come to understand that there are some things I must accept: the weather, that other people's baggage is other people's baggage, that I cannot make others see me the way I know I am inside and that just because I accept my life as it is right now does not have to mean that I like it or plan to continue down this particular road that is my life in this moment.

In the Happiness Trap, the author, Russ Harris, defines acceptance as "about embracing life, not merely tolerating it. It means fully opening yourself to your present reality... and letting go of the struggle with life as it is in this moment." Harris continues to propose that "the more fully you accept the reality of your situation - as it is, here and now - the  more effectively you can take action to change it."

That truly resonates with me.

Acceptance no longer makes me a victim of my life, it makes me a conscious, proactive participant, moving forward towards creating a fulfilling life that is mine.

So! I can choose to sit in the dirty bath water and whine about how dirty it is and wait for someone to "fix" it or I can stand up (not always easy), grab a towel (definitely not always easy - mmm, which towel?!?!?), and step out of the dirty water and onto a firmer, more pleasing, healthier space.