Balance: Knowing When to Release and Let Go

Happy New Year!

Intentions and Resolutions. Stepping in and Stepping up. Are you in or are you out?

I know that I am not going out to "find" balance in my life. I know that I am going to create it within my four realms, mental, physical, spirit and emotional. With that clearly stated, understood and in pretty good working order, how am I going to right an imbalance that I, myself have allowed?

Trust = Balance

A little over a year ago, I stopped finding reasons why I couldn't get where I wanted to go in terms of Sacred Livelihood or WholeHearted Life's Work. When I let go of the "how", what I needed-what I desired began to manifest. After a year of manifesting what I desired, I am in a very different place and for the first time I am using the word "trust" in context without other people. Earlier in this Year of Magic (ooo, that just came to me - I like it!!), I began to use the expression "trust the process". I had used it before in an off-hand sort of way, but now I find that I am totally present to the very process I am suggesting be trusted. The word "trust" has even taken on a new dimension to my emotions and spirit, a wider scope in my mind, and a more open feel in my body.

Have you ever felt trust as a sensation? Can you describe it? How does it feel to you now?

This morning I was given a ritual gift. This gift gave me more and took more than I could have imagined. Later, in the mirror, I stood before a different woman. I trusted that this gift was a right step on my path; I knew it in my heart as I participated and I know it now. I am trusting this process.

Inspite of the Year of Magic and this gift, I am choosing pain in my heart. And with sharp awareness, I sense my loss of balance. I know, every day, that this costs me and yet every day, my heart makes this choice. My spirit senses the possibilities and for that I wait.

How long do I wait?

(While my body is not that of an endurance athlete, my heart is.)

Where are the lines? How many do I draw before I just can not draw another one?

Can I balance the energy this takes from me and returns in abstemious doses while I wait? If I can't, should I wait? If I can, do I continue to wait, and trust that natural time will take us where we should be? Shall I trust in this process?

Friend. Life Experience. Spouse. Lover. Partner. Parent. Sibling.

When the question in my heart is, "what have I got to lose by letting go?" and the answer is "nothing", I may have just found my answer...

Or (my favorite word after "why")

if I can find peace through trusting natural time...

Am I in or am I out?

You?