Fear-Choice-"If"

What is Fear?

Bing: "1. feeling of anxiety; an unpleasant feeling of anxiety or apprehencion caused by the presence or anticipation of danger. "

Merriam-Webster.com: "transitive verb. 1. archaic; frighten 2. archaic; to feel fear in (oneself) 4.(I skipped 3) to be afraid of

Wikipedia: "Fear is a distressing emotion aroused by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occuring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger."

These are some of the common words I found amongst the many definitions I perused:

anticipation

apprehension

impending

perceived

threatening

idea

thought

anxiety

Interesting that these words are "what could" words, and "if" words. They are not "action" words. The pain of fear may be more in the mental realm; more in the thinking about the possibilities than in dealing with the actual event.

Do you ever find that the anticipation of an unpleasant event is generally far worse than the experience of the event itself?

What are you afraid of?

Spiders? Clowns? Tornadoes? Giant Killer Hamsters? Making a wrong decision? Choosing the wrong restaurant? Choosing the wrong mate? Choosing the wrong job? Living someone's else's life? Failure?

For me, "what are you afraid of" can be one of the most paralyzing and useful questions - when answered honestly.

Me? I'm so afraid of failing at what I believe I was put here for and winding up destitute that I have spent the greater part of my life not living the gift that is my life. When I think of it - stepping in, to create this form through which to share what I have to share and stand on my own two feet, I can hardly breath.

It has always been important to me to live a meaningful life. Maybe I'm a late bloomer! Maybe I'm a slow learner! More likely it is the legacy of fear that has been passed down along the female line in my family. To quote Melissa Etheridge, "the legacy stops here".

Are there paths you would like to take, new experiences you might like to have, new people you would like to connect with? But you don't? Out of fear? Yes, is my answer, what about you?

As I develop Tools for Transformation and I talk about it to friends, students, other teachers and family I feel the familiar sensation of the boa constrictor wrapping around my chest. Every time I exhale, I can hardly inhale again. But I do.There IS an inhale - sometimes it is really small and it's not enough but it keeps me going. As bogged down as I can get in the "what coulds" and the "ifs", nothing much is actually happening. In stepping forward, there's no abyss that I've tumbled into. The boa whom I have named Isis (I love ancient Egyptian history), is going to learn to lighten up and go with the flow because the further I walk on this path, the less Fear walks with me.