Revelations 1

Years ago, when our Nia forum would come in through email, Ann Christiansen posted about "doing the work" in order to deliver the promise of Nia. As teachers, one way we define Nia is as a movement form that touches all aspects of the self: Body, Mind, Spirit and Emotions.  

I can say in this moment that "the work" for BMES for me is through BMES. At the time, what I received was about listening to the music and spending time with the work.

 I have begun the journey again - to become a Nia teacher. This is a journey I take after each week-long belt intensive. It’s not called an intensive for nothing. 

Black Belt, however, was truly a return to embryonic for me. 

(And I'm sure it was no coincidence that Ann was one of my Black Belt trainers!)

I am learning to breathe again. 

The meaning of Inhalation. What it is to Exhale. 

Like everyone, I began the walk through my life with my first breaths. Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Gasp. Pant. Fill. Empty. To fill I must empty. You and I just shared this moment of revelation. Since 1999 I have been distractedly contemplating being empty. Consciously empty. Empty to wait. Uh-hu, yea, got it.

Not At All.

I understood the meaning of each word. I got the jist of the words in this particular combination. 

Two minutes ago I received the meaning in my body. 

In every breath there is fill and empty. Breathing is an autonomic function of the body. I never have to tell myself to breath (outside of those stress-crazy moments). Nor do I tell myself to yawn when I haven’t breathed quite deeply enough to get the oxygen my body knows it needs (thank you, wise body). It happens when it needs to. (Then some genius went and conditioned us to believe that yawning is rude – it means we’re bored of something or someone and we must stifle yawns so as not to offend anyone. Mmmm, sacrificing something healthy so as not to offend anyone… Much eye-rolling.)

I learned ages ago that my lungs must expel the carbon dioxide so that I can take in fresh air to circulate through my body for life. The same goes for my mind, heart and spirit. I must also expel the waste products that have been created by the process of living so that I have room to welcome in new, fresh information, people and events that stimulate creativity, growth, agility and expansion . This is not a catharsis I’m referring to so I’m not going to find some place to go and scream or write letters to people or throw out the contents of my closet. I sense this as more a shift in perspective.

The exhale refers to the waste products I have accumulated and need to release so that I can avoid toxicity. The old ideas I have relative to all aspects of my self, back to Body, Mind, Spirit and Emotions.  Behaviors that I hang on to or resist changing out of fear (what will I do if I don’t do that?). 

The biggest shift will be in how I let the world see me. 

One of the most common comments I receive when someone really gets to know me (or momentarily dives into an intimate element such as music) is “you’re not like I thought you were at all!” This has been nagging at me. Just a week ago I decided that what I want – what I intend to accomplish in the near future is to have ‘the inside of me’ match the ‘outside of me’. In this way, I am temporarily incongruent and this incongruency is creating a life that I don’t want.

So what now...